I am a newly divorced woman in her early fifties. The details of my divorce aren’t really important. We got married, we had kids, we grew apart. We have been divorced for 2 years and although it saddens me that my family has been broken apart, I am happy that my ex and I have have managed to be civil enough to make it okay for the kids.
What I find most interesting at this point is the whole dating scene. There is such a difference between what is available for men and woman. Here is what I have found:
For single men the options are plentiful. We have all heard about how easy it is for a man to start dating in his fifties and how there are plenty of women to choose from.
And there is. …
It seems that the breakdown of available women fall into the following categories:
1. Early 30’s and never been married – these women must have “daddy issues”. Their desire to be with men 15-20 years their senior means they are looking for someone to take care of them both financially and personally. Be cautious men, these women are looking for you to do it all over again and that means house and children. Sure it will start with great sex and they will make you feel “alive” and young but proceed with caution. When they tell you that they don’t want these things they are lying!
2. Early 40’s with small children – although these women are closer to your age (not really) they are at a completely different stage. They are raising small kids and are looking for someone to be a partner. Yes they do want you to help raise their kids and do it all over again. They may say they don’t but they too are lying. If you have money, well that just makes you more attractive.
3. Women in their 50’s – these women are your age and there are many available in this group. (yes I do fall into this category) Chances are good that these women have older kids who are well on their way and don’t really want your input on their children. They know who they are and why their marriage failed and are looking for pure companionship. They probably won’t be in “awe” of you and hang on your every word. They won’t be interested in pumping your ego or making you feel young. Rather they will be someone who will have realistic expectations of you and be accepting of who you are at this time of your life. They will want to grow old with you and have an age appropriate relationship with you.
From my experience there are few men who are looking to date their contemporaries. The thrill and excitement of a younger woman is so compelling. Those rare gems who value women with age and experience are just that – rare!
So I will wait and not settle. I am confident that my soul mate is out there. Someone who will appreciate what my age and wisdom brings to the partnership. I am happier than I have ever been and what I truly have learned is that I don’t need a man to make me complete.