My divorce not only left me sad and disillusioned, it left me feeling lonely.

Loneliness is an interesting state of being. It really doesn’t matter how many friends, family or supporters you have during this time. It’s a psychological state that can be extremely damaging and very hard to move past. The problem is Loneliness hangs around you like a dark cloud after divorce,  It leads you to believe that you will always be lonely and never feel like you belong again.

For me, this state really took its toll. I was lonely in my bed, at work, with friends, and with my kids. I found that depression set in and I was unable to function. I was never one who believed in therapy, and reluctantly made an appointment at the urging of my family.

My therapist really helped me to navigate through this awful time of my life. I learned some very valuable life skills in navigating the emotional cloud of loneliness during my divorce. My therapist helped me set personal goals so I could move forward.

She encouraged me to think about 3 things everyday …

  1. The importance of allowing and giving myself time to heal. She stressed the importance of not beating myself up on my bad days.  It’s actually really normal to feel lonely after a divorce.
  1. The future is a mystery – and to stop worrying about it. Stay open and allow changes to happen.
  1. Learn to take chances, and challenge myself – I am way stronger than I think.

With hard work, I continue to learn to enjoy the benefits of being lonely and look at it as a positive thing rather than a negative one.

Life didn’t go as planned but I am learning to take control, move on and get to know myself all over again. I am ready to open the door to a new world of endless possibilities.


Lina, 42





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