I am the single mother of two teenagers. Getting divorced eleven years ago was the most emotional and pivotal time in my life.
For ten years, I was co-owner of a sales incentive company with my now ex-husband. When I joined the company, we were a staff of five with annual sales just beginning to grow. When I left after a decade of hard work, there were a staff of twenty and it was a thriving multimillion dollar organization. My primary responsibilities were sales, marketing, managing staff and negotiating multimillion dollar contracts with our biggest customers.
The company we owned together was my third child and I had to deal with the painful thought of having to let that go. How was I going to do this? Where do I start? My first meeting to discuss this with a professional, I almost fainted. I was so overwhelmed and felt like I was about to lose everything.
Getting divorced was so complicated and painful on a professional level but more importantly on a personal level. Not only was my marriage ending, I had to come to terms with the unbearable thought of not having my children with me all of the time. Every day felt like a fight. A fight for what I believed to be fair, reasonable and what I passionately believed to be right for my children and myself.
Over the course of thirteen months, I worked on a separation agreement with a team of seven professionals including; matrimonial, corporate lawyers and accountants, trust and insurance specialists, a parenting coordinator mediator, business evaluation company as well as investment advisors. I look back on the money that was spent and I cringe at the thought. This money could now pay for my children’s education for the next four years and then some.
Then, it was done. The fighting was over, the money was spent and I had to start to rebuild my life. I went back to sales and management with a large public company managing their highest profile account, knowing that this was a stepping stone until I regained my balance. In these past years of rebuilding my life, it became clear to me that I was hungry for work that felt meaningful and helped the world be a better place.
After seven years, I left my job and took an intensive course at York University in Advanced Dispute Resolution and Mediation. This course was heavily focused on Family Law and the Mediation process and within a few days I knew I had found what I was meant to do. With my business and personal experience, coupled with my training it was clear. I can and I will, assist people through the intense burden and anxiety of divorce.
Failing a sick child, divorce is the most painful process anyone can go through. The range of emotions are overwhelming and to have to deal with the thought of making a ‘deal’ for the rest of your life can seem impossible at the time. I learnt it is possible through focus, determination, knowledge, self-care and having the right support people in place. It can be done and I am living proof that there is a thriving life after divorce that is waiting for you.
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