Divorce is always stressful for children. Children will experience the changes in their family as a loss. Most children do not want their parents to separate unless the marriage caused conflict and anger in the home. Typically children have a hard time during the divorce transition. Parents who do a good job managing the stresses of divorce for their children can be surprised at how quickly their children make the adjustment. Concerned parents should note that you can do much to promote your children’s resilience. How you parent and work together will determine the effects of the divorce. It is important to make sure your children know that they will continue to have a meaningful relationship with both of their parents.

How you cope with your separation or divorce will largely determine how your children cope. Children make a positive adjustment to separation and divorce when they are kept out of the adult conflicts. They are likely to do just fine if you cooperate as parents and avoid maintaining your conflict with each other.

The divorce itself does not affect children in a negative way. The effects result more often from the feeling of uncertainty of what is going to happen after the divorce and most importantly from the level of conflict between the parents.

Children survive divorce, but some never recover from the emotional scars inflicted by parents who remain in conflict. The key is cooperation and putting your children’s needs first. Cooperation creates the kind of environment in which children feel safe, satisfied and loved.

It is not the divorce that breaks a child spirit, rather it is the conflict.

Marcie Goldhar
Marcie Goldhar Consulting

Marcie has been working in the are of custody and access since 2002.
To learn more about Marcie Goldhar click http://divorceangels.ca/vendor/marcie-goldhar-2/?r=7610

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