To be honest, I have been thinking about divorce for a while. My husband and I have had our marital issues in the past, but somehow, we would continuously find our way back to each other, to put a temporary band-aid on our problems.
We are both very social people, on our own and as a couple. We were always good together when we were with our friends — socializing with other couples, going to restaurants and parties, vacationing with friends and their families.
The Covid lockdown, ripped off the band-aid on our problems. Isolated together, with no escape or outlet from the continuous emotional stress, pressures of parenting, and increasing financial worries. After months of confinement, I couldn’t find any comfort, connection or compatibility with my spouse. Covid brought me to a breaking point and confirmed what I had already suspected for years, but was too scared to admit.
My husband and I needed people around us to bring out the best of us, and help us escape our problems of incompatibility and lack of connection. Our confinement didn’t bring us closer together as a couple like a lot of my friends’ marriages who found new daily routines to walk/workout together, homeschool their kids together, cook great meals together. My lockdown just confirmed that we did not know how to be alone together and enjoy the simple pleasures in life – each other and our children.
Luckily Covid has not given me a virus, it has just given me time – a lot of it actually — to sit still in a situation that has made me sad and alone for years. It has also given me the time to reflect and to make life changing decisions based on honesty and not animosity.
Separation and Divorce in COVID is not a quick fix – especially with all the uncertainty. But COVID pushed us to live in the present and plan for the future. My husband and I are finally in agreement over something and are communicating now more than ever. We have agreed to be amicable and to work together to make this transition easy on the kids, and on ourselves to minimize the impact both financially and emotionally during these uncertain and difficult times.