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Separation is coming

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I am on here because I really dont know where to go. I will share my story but please, I am devastated so please no harsh judgement. I have been unfaithful to my husband in the past. I carried on a physical relationship off and on with a person and an emotional one there after. I told me husband about 3 months ago and it has been hell. I hate myself for my actions. He deserved better. He says he loves me but needs to get away from me. I have tried to show him that I am a changed person and that will never ever happen again. I see the pain that I have caused this amazing man and it kills me to know that I did this to him. I dont know when to let go. I want to keep fighting for my marriage but it really is true it takes 2 people to get married, one person to end a marriage. He does not want to be in a relationship with me at this time and cannot see being in a relationship with me in the future. We have recently done intensive couples therapy and made an amazing connection, but when we got home it went right back to where we were. I think partly because there is so much hurt and anger and pain. The plan is to separate for a couple of months and he will make a decision at the end of that time. I really feel I know whats coming. I dont have much time as he is leaving within 2 weeks to try to convince him otherwise. I want to turn to God and leave it in his hands but I am so devastated.

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