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Jane
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I’m broken. Very hard day. Feel alone. Just found out last week my husband has had two affairs. Most recently with our friend.

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#9815 Reply
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Aaron
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<p style=”text-align: center;”>I feel your pain.  My wife just told me she has a bf and she has been staying over his house and not coming home.  She keeps telling me she loves me but she wants to do this right now.</p>

#9819 Reply
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Man from Mars
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I am sorry he did this to you. You know what yo need to do. Not knowing his underlying reasoning, you still have to brave and focus on you. It’s hard but ignore him and this situation and start rebuilding yourself, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Extreme exercise and greens and low carbs saved me. I was so sore for weeks I just kept going and became more focused on getting stronger and healthier. Great for the spirit, soul and revenge. I know a girl whose husband left her for someone else and she went through this incredible transformation. All kinds of doors opened up for her that she never considered. Her ex isn’t even valid anymore. You have to put in the effort, it’s about survival

#9836 Reply
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I am so sorry to hear this. This may sound a little cliche, but with everything going on around you try to love you again. Right now it’s not about him, it’s all about you. Adding more stress to your life is the last thing you need to be doing. You said you feel so lost. There are things that are out of your control, accept that and control that which you can. Sit in silence, still your mind start with 5 minutes a day and work your way up the answers will come just listen to the silence and love yourself. right now your mind is working overtime, slow it down a little and then you will be able to think more clearly. Everything starts with you.
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First of all, you are not broken don’t ever refer to yourself as broken.  Never allow another human being to have power over you.  I can relate to what you are going through and I’m sure it hurts like hell.  When I found out my husband was cheating on me, I started drinking and I don’t even like the taste of alcohol, but I wanted something to ease the pain, needless to say, it didn’t work. It only made me feel sick.   Looking back in retrospect I had to love me, I had to find the love for me in me.  I questioned myself for a while, thinking maybe if I would have done this or that differently, he would not have cheated on me. But if a man is going to cheat he is going to cheat regardless, nothing can stop that, it’s just in his DNA.  As far as your friend goes now you know where you stand.

Check out my website as women we should be there for each other.  I will be interviewing a woman who will tell her story as to what she went through and how she is coping with it.  You are not alone

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#10341 Reply
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May
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I feel the same way broken and worthless.  That’s what he said I was.  He cheated and now my son won’t talk to me.  I feel no life or purpose for me. Everyone just says move on. Some friends have turned away from me.  I feel dead inside.

#10351 Reply
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Waitedtoolong
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My husband and I have been together a total of 20 years for 14 of which we have been married. It’s the second time round for both of us. No children between us but each with two each from previous, all adults.

He has always had anger issues (I really should have seen the writing on the wall). When he loses his temper he is vile. Name calling, mud slinging, that kind of thing. Every holiday has been ruined by these tantrums. He’s abandoned me in foreign countries many times. Lots of nights out have been ruined in the same way. He’s done it occasionally in company! He’s never really got physical in his abuse apart from the odd push and most recently a cup of water in my face.

A year ago we sought therapy as a couple and him independently for anger management. I had to ask for a couple of weeks apart to sort my head out after the water throwing incident and when he returned there was the usual conversations around this time being the absolute last time.

The 12 months leading up to now have not been horrrndous but….. the anger when things go a little bit wrong is still there and we’ve had a couple of altercations. The last one tipped me over the edge and I told him I wanted a divorce. Ive not come to this decision on the back of one argument. I just don’t feel the same about him and probably haven’t for some time.

I’m definitely going to see it through but I don’t understand why I feel so sad.

Can anybody help and support me through this?

Many thanks

#10352 Reply
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Waitedtoolong
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Sorry wrong thread 🤦‍♀️

#10433 Reply
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Jeannie
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I have been dating a divorced guy for nearly two years. Last spring he tried to start an affair with a woman he met in the Caribbean. When that didn’t work, he came crawling back. Now he is pursuing a divorce lawyer affiliated with this site, so beware, any of you young-ish female divorce lawyers who have recently been approached by a fit, good-looking 60 year-old with youngish kids (for his age). He may come across as attentive and smooth, but wait until the devaluation phase when you do not want to give him what he wants (your money, your status etc.). He of course constantly blame-shifts, has an out-of-control temper and is a serial liar. You should know this for your own well-being.

#10434 Reply
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Anonymous
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Jeannie, I know how you feel. Unfortunately narcissists (I assume your guy is a narcissist, given what you have said) never see anything wrong in what they do. It is ALWAYS the other person’s fault. And most narcs will not blink an eye when telling lies. They will proclaim love to one, while courting two or three other women. It sounds as if your guy wants a woman to mother his kids so he can play sports and have someone else pay the bills. It definitely helps if the target of narcissistic supply is well-heeled and well-connected. Good luck. I recommend dumping him. He has already cheated on you at least once.

#10437 Reply
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Jeannie
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The hard part is the addiction I have to this man. He is very well-aware of his assets, which are mainly physical; he thinks he looks pretty good and primps more than any woman I know. His divorce was very bitter at the time, with many things said which never should have been in front of children. But his relationship has improved with his gay ex. Today, as a partner to me he is entirely self-absorbed. Everything we do is on his terms and at his whim, not at all like his extreme attentiveness and concern for my feelings  when we met – yet I get sucked in every time I see him. He calls me whe he has a hole in his schedule and has already cheated on me once.  Now he pursuing a single-mom, divorce lawyer who knew his ex. Still he sleeps with me and tells me he wants me in his life forever, that no one else makes him as happy. It is exasperating. He and his ex-wife have no boundaries (except sex, for obvious reasons). It we make plans, I never know if he will get in a snit and cancel them. He is debt-ridden and wants a rich wife who is very well- connected, so beware AB. If you get stuck with this parasite, you will regret it

#11178 Reply
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Melissa
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