April 15, 2020 at 5:23 pm
I’ve been married two years; and today we have finally agreed to separate….
It’s my first night alone – ni really sure what to think or do. Feeling quite numb.
The marriage has been incredibly toxic – pretty certain he has been cheating endlessly; he constantly lies; manipulates; is moody and inconsistent; and when I pull him up on his behaviour , he tell me I have issues.l and that I’m the problem. Or starts playing mind games.
I know he isn’t good for me. I know he won’t change. Despite this. Why do I feel that I still want him? I’m scared of being alone. I’m feeling so pathetic
I literally feel like I want to call him now and tell him to come home. Which he will do. But that will mean we’re stuck in this endless untrusting marriage where I am constantly gaslighted.
What the hell has my life come to!