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I decided to separate from my husband 3 months ago and although I know that I made the right decision for myself, it is not as easy emotionally as I thought it would be.

I had suspected that my husband was cheating over the past 3 months, he seemed to like the attention of other women more than a married man should.  A year and a half ago, I caught him red-handed and it was more than one women.  He said he went through a mid-life crisis, but he has been this way for the past 20 years, he just got sloppy.

We have been trying to work it out for the last year and a half, but it has been too devastating for me to accept.  When we decided to separate, I asked him not to start anything with another women until he was out of the house, out of respect for me.  This week he told me that he has been chatting with women on a women’s divorce website, I asked him what was the purpose of this and he told me that he was talking to them to try to understand his situation, then he told me that he was trying to make new friends, then I discovered that he has befriend one women in particular.  I asked him about this and he said they were just friends and they just talk about their situations, but he has met her in person for coffee.

Our home life has been very stressful, lots of fighting, screaming, etc., but this morning we had a nice chat, he told me that I was the women of his life, he loved me so much and that it was going to be hard to be without me.  We cried in each others arms and we comforted each other.  A few hours later he told me that he had to go do a few things to prepare for his move, then at 4 I get a text from him telling me that he was going to an event with this women and her friends and he would be home later.  So what’s my question and why do I care?

My questions is:  was this morning real or was he just feeling guilty because he knew he was going to leave me alone tonight and go with another women.

Why do I care:  we are going through the numbers for our separation, was he just kind to soften me up or did he mean what he said and if he did, how could he so easily go to an event with someone else, knowing that I was here alone.  I actually thought he would come home around 6 and ask me if I wanted to go out for dinner and go see a movie, like we usually did.

What am I missing?