Home Forum General Addiction Dealing with an Alcoholic who promises to get help if I don’t leave…. Reply To: Dealing with an Alcoholic who promises to get help if I don’t leave….


Jessica Ehrenworth

Hi Tired,

I am one of the therapists on this site. My name is Jessica Ehrenworth.

Al Anon is an amazing organization that provides amazing support.

The one thing about behaviour, is when we say we are going to do something and don’t, the other party stops believing us. Whatever you say, make sure you are willing to follow through or else it becomes a threat with no consequences. It is ok to let go. Sometimes that is the only thing to do.

Behaviour doesn’t change until things become bad enough to force us to change it. You cannot force him to change his behaviour  (to stop drinking). If he says he will and doesn’t that shows that he is probably not ready. Addicts often need to reach rock bottom in order to think about changing their lives.

The question for you becomes, are you willing to go down with him? You can support from afar. Sometimes leaving is the best wake up call and support you can give someone. Leaving doesn’t mean you don’t love him or are abandoning him, sometimes it means that you love him immensely and it is the only thing you can do to change an unhealthy situation.

Change starts with you. You can only control what you do. You deserve to be happy.

If you would like to talk further, let me know. I am always here.