Hi Jeannie, I am one of the therapists on this site and have also gone through my own divorce. I think it is normal for you to have mixed emotions about everything. The divorce process is never easy. During this time it becomes important to wade through the negative feelings that come up and start to create the life you actually want. It is important to start sitting down with yourself and ask yourself what is best for you. Does waiting the three years leave you with hope, hoping the final divorce will never happen or does it allow you to move on? All of the emotions can be challenging to get through and it is difficult to start thinking about life differently…about life for you.
This is a blog post I wrote about healing after a separation/divorce. http://www.jessicaehrenworth.com/how-to-heal-after-divorce/
If there is anything I can help you with, please let me know. You will get through. That I know for sure. I have watched my clients go from despair to strength from healing to happiness.