I thought we were a solid couple and I thought we were happy.
I believed in our marriage and loved being part of a family and a mom to our three kids.

I never questioned our connection or chemistry. I never noticed any signs.
So I was shocked when he came home and told me he’s “out”. Just like that.

I wanted to know why! No conversation about him not being happy, no option for therapy or the possibility of working through this.

Then came the next tidal wave. Not only was he out but he was already involved! She was younger. They met at work.
He had a connection with her he couldn’t deny.
She understood him. She made him feel alive.
He was leaving…. Moving on and moving out!

I was left reeling. Picking up the pieces.
Trying to make sense. How could my life blow up in a matter of minutes?

How dare he do this to me! I am the mother of his children!
I am the one who stood by when we were broke.
The one who helped him build his career.
The one who helped him become the man he is today.

My emotions were limitless. I could barely cope with the news.

Years later I reflect on this day and have met so many others who have experienced similar pain.
Why is it when one leaves they usually have another lined up? Are people too scared to be alone?
Too concerned with their own selves to leave in a respectable way?

Being blindsided was horrible. Humiliation and hurt lasts a very long time. Time does heal, and I am in a much better space.
I have moved on from the anger, and my failed marriage.
I still don’t like nor respect my ex for the way he treated me, but I co-parent with a smile on my face for the benefit of my kids.

Rina

9 Responses to “Blindsided”

  1. Happy one

    Lol, don’t be soooo negative.
    I’d prefer a quick death than a slow one.
    Blindsided is the way to go.

    Reply
  2. Lee Goss

    I was blind sided as well ..after being with the loser for ,now ,30 yrS 24 of which we were married and had a beautiful daughter ..no warning nothing just said I want a divorce ..he also had someone lined up ..she was 28. He’s 52 ..and she is married and lives in Romania !!! He’s been having an affair with her 5 yrs before itvwas mentioned to me ..and in those 5 yrs he did everything to turn this failed marriage one me. . he has been accusing me of screwing around on him which Iam NOT!! He is not me !! He’s been a PR**k to me ..here we are almost 3 yrs after saying that and he has not made attempt to divorce me and hr is still living in the basement ofthe home..seems to me he ewants to be married and screw around with a hoe from a porn site … Good luck with that. !! Going to paying for rest of his life for what he has done to me !!!

    Reply
  3. Aviva Reimer

    Coming from such devastation , the best thing to do is to make some really good decisions about your destination course. Decide what kind of life you want and start taking steps to execute your decision. If you are not emotionaly ready, decide on a time frame that you feel you need to process and greeve your circumstance and after that take control toward your happiness! We are experts in helping with such decisions, therefore don’t hesitate to reach out for an inspiring conversation at any time!!!

    Aviva Reimer

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Well the story is so sad. We have to think 4 the future all the time and move on.
      Chritopher

      Reply
  4. Been there

    Revenge is best served cold. I have been through something very similar. Most men find out that the grass isn’t greener and eventually beg to come back. So…..the best revenge is to move on without him and be happy. He will hate it.

    Reply
  5. Jason

    Wow every comment is about men cheating , leaving , being pri**s. But never the less I am a guy who tried absolutely everything to make my relationship work. Been through her alchahol addiction problems ( which she he’s very well from me in the beginning ) and it gradually got worse and worse. I stood by her and got her council along with couples counciling. Then low and behold thru deception and lies she tried to do some very sneaky monetary advances for her on Benefit from my family business. Which I am no part of and that pissed me off to no end. But I accepted her as a mean hurtful person with some great side qualities. We have 4 kids together one she has from a previous marriage. All in all I can deal with all her problems and decieptiveness because down deep I do love her. But when she leaves her phone unlocked one October morning and I had a gut feeling I should look in it and to my despair she has another man which is also married. The town dirtbag manhoar and he haveing a year long affair. So yes women cheat and lie just like some guys do. Difference is you get caught only when you want to get caught

    Troubled thoughts fill my head. I’ve tried to accept the affair and move on for the best interest of the kids and I fear I cannot live a life of lies. So I had to move on. A alone. But not alone alone with three of the best things that ever happened in my life , my kids

    That is all that matters

    My now new different family !

    Everyone has a story good and bad. Lifet kicks you when you are down. You have to get back up every time. It’s not a choice it’s a must. We complicate our lives for no reason. And we can in complicate them just as easily.

    Chin up people, get up people, LIVE LIFE ,

    Jason

    Reply
  6. William

    Question, possibly very selfish, but in your life to what do you yourself aspire and endeavour to have? especially if it is going to be with some mixed-up, malevolent poor soul who believes that they themselves could be enjoying better than being with you. Don’t try and hold onto something that is going to hold you down from endeavouring to have a rich and full life especially within yourself. Yes revenge is better served cold, but is that how you value yourself? However sweet, is that really the way you wish to be yourself, especially if you have children? and teach them that sticking a knife in their other parent is to be your source of your joy. Even my grandchildren ask why we do not talk to oneanother. Is it not a sadness, a sorrow, that they should have to shoulder a sorrow considering all the other things that could weigh them down in mere existence. I would suggest that there is too much in life to enjoy than to be bogged down by a failed relationship however wonderful it seemed or was at first, that you hoped would last for ever. Dreams are a waste of time if they are not being realized. Move on and use the remaining time to try and make it rich for yourself, your loved ones, family and friends, and if you can, wish the other well, without a self-esteem that could be somewhat unctuous. But don’t dismiss your grief as being irrelevant. You are human. But don’t wallow in it.

    Reply
  7. Lee Goss

    I would love to thank each and everyone who has commented on my failed relationship..I took my vows in front of God,family and friends and I never once strayed..I married for life ..but a freak accident happened and I was incapable of being intimate and I think this was the straw that broke the camel’s back ..we r still living in the same dwelling ..but soon my dog,cat and myself will be leaving and I hope to find what makes ME happy..I want the rest of my life to be the the best of my life !!I had tonstart divorce procedures after he put us in $30,000 in debt ..but that is now his problem. I am now on the right path to where I want to be ..I never thought of a divorce as grieving ..but I guess it is and if I stay here any longer I’ll never move on ..it was a wonderful marriage well it lasted but time to move on and look for someone to spend the rest and best of my life with !! As for marriage ,,never again ..I wasn’t even aware anyone had commented but ty for the advice and I hope you all find the love of ur life for the rest of ur life !! Plz feel free to respond ..take care of each other ..mauhhh

    Reply

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