1. I hate my ex and do not care what happens to them.
This is not true – you will always care. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t.
2. I am never getting married again and don’t care if I ever meet anyone. I am totally fine on my own.
Lies, Lies, Lies – no one wants to be alone. Right now you are hurt and protecting yourself because you don’t want to get hurt again. You feel like you are never going to meet someone. But you will.
3. I hate when my kids aren’t with me.
You might in the beginning but as time passes you will be thrilled to have the break. It’s the best kept secret of divorce – you get guilt free time alone. Enjoy it and use the time to refresh and rejuvenate.
4. One day my kids will understand what he/she did to me.
They may know already – but it doesn’t matter. They love their other parent unconditionally and you want them to. Creating an ally against your ex isn’t good for your children. Your children didn’t get the divorce – you did!
5. I hate dating.
No you don’t. You hate bad dates and unfortunately you are going to have to go on many. Be open – your not in high school anymore. Appearances are fleeting – give people a chance.
6. I am never going online to date.
Welcome to the new world after Divorce. You may just have to go online. You may not find the perfect mate but you will certainly be amused with the profiles and banter. It’s a great first step. And no one will think you’re a loser – they are on the site too!
7. My friends and family are all I need.
Again – this is not true. As soon as you meet someone who makes your heart stop you will forget those who stood by you in your time of need after your divorce. You will be amazed how your divorce will make you more “me centered”. Take note of this one – your friends and family do want you to be happy however they have listened for years about how you are fine on your own and you will never date etc… don’t abandon those relationships once you find a new great partner. You never know when you will need them again and people DON’T forget!
8. My ex is sorry that he/she left. He/She is jealous of my new life. He/She hates my new boyfriend/girlfriend.
No – not really. Your ex is thrilled not to be with you anymore. That’s why he/she left you. If there were regrets – you would have heard it. Move on and get over it.
Getting divorced is not easy. The journey will take you to places you would never have imagined for yourself. Just be real and honest.
There is happiness on the other side!