My wife and I came to a roadblock in our marriage — we weren’t happy, we weren’t communicating and we weren’t united. I was miserable — torn between staying and torn between leaving. Instead of working on my marriage, I had an affair and felt like a superstar.

This affair carried on for a year – I wasn’t in love with this other woman — I liked how it made me feel, and I didn’t know how to stop it. My relationship with my wife was getting worse as she felt my distance even more. After a fight one night and a lot of hurtful words, I left with my inflated ego and walked out the door. My wife ultimately divorced me .

The ironic truth is that I never really thought about the consequences or the long-term effects of my behavior. Divorce wasn’t really what I wanted at all —I miss my wife and family and wish that we would have gone for therapy when the disconnect first began.

I have learned a lot about myself, marriage and divorce in the last few years.

I wanted to share the 5 things I learned about Divorce that people don’t usually tell you!

  1. Divorce sometimes seems easier than fixing your marriage, — your marriage deserves an opportunity to try and work things out
  1. Divorce will not make you happier. You need to work on yourself and recreate to make yourself happier.
  1. Even if you’re the one who thinks they want to get the divorce, you’ll still have a lot of sadness and regret
  1. Leaving your marriage for an affair usually ends up disastrous once the infatuation and allure of the other person wears off
  1. You find out who your friends are – they usually choose one partner to stay friends with.

 

Peter, 51

 

One Response to “5 things I learned about Divorce”

  1. Alison Jarvis

    Thank you for sharing… An interesting perspective for me since my husband had an affair and left for the other woman. It didn’t work out of course but I never looked at it from this angle before.
    Good luck… In my experience life did get better.

    Reply

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