I have never been a blogger.  I have never been someone who wanted to share my story with anyone.   However the recent “hackers”’ into the Ashley Madison site have created quite a buzz and has forced me once again to  “relive my story”.

I was happily married (or so I thought) for 15 years.  We had three kids and busy careers.  Between work, school, soccer and hockey we found it hard to find time to be alone.   She had nights with her girlfriends, I had nights out with the boys… life was busy.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that she was on Ashley Madison.  I had no hints. I had no leads.  She was as loving as always, she was present and she was my best friend.

So you can imagine my surprise the day I used her laptop instead of mine to find the Ashley Madison site pop up.  Did I go on her profile? You bet I did.  I read every single post and email exchange … and there were plenty.

I was in shock.  It did not seem possible that she was capable of this.  This wasn’t an “affair” where she found a man that she was truly in love with and was moving on — maybe I would have understood that more.

But this?    This was a number of random one night encounters with men she knew nothing of.  She put my health and life at risk for her sexual fantasies.  The hurt and betrayal is so deep that words can never express the pain.

Do I blame Ashley Madison?    I actually don’t.  She chose to create an account and experiment.  She chose to meet random men,  and ultimately she chose to be unfaithful.

It is so easy today to go online and connect  with people via the various Social sites and hide behind our computer screens.  We have taken real people interaction and made it as simple as typing on a keyboard.  We can say whatever we want with no attachment because if we don’t get the response we were looking for we hit delete and move on.

For me, I am thankful I found out in private.  I care too much for my children to expose her alter ego and her indiscretions.

So for those on Ashley Madison who are worried about being exposed–, I hope for your families sake that you aren’t.  It’s painful enough as an adult to deal – add kids and it’s a disaster. 

Come clean privately – out of respect for your partner — but also remember if you choose to stay on these sites…. Karma really is a bitch!


Father of 3

Happily in a new relationship

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