We were driving to the courthouse for a morning of discovery.
I was nervous and excited as I anticipated the moment that our eyes
would finally lock and we would chuckle at the ludicrous situation that we were in. How did we even get here?
He would reach over try to engage me in conversation and we would laugh at our folly. Nice delusional thought but the reality of our encounter blew the wick off my imaginary dream
with a gust of frigid truth.
We sat as adversaries flanked by our expensive guards.
He stared through me with vacant eyes, game face on without a hint of emotion. I began to fidget, positioning for some type of acknowledgement or connection.
I mean, was I not still the Mother of his children?
But he was gone.
Retreating to his cone of silence.
Oh how I remember this. How many times had I been here before?
Isolated, lonely afraid to really feel the truth of our disconnection.
Back in the car I cried, as if for the first time. I shared my list of shattered dreams and fears.
With disbelief yet again, I lamented about the person who I had just encountered.
How did we end up here?
A few patient minutes into my rant, my Lawyer looked directly into my eyes and declared:
“Get over it you are just a liability now”!!!
In one swift blow to the heart I landed firmly in reality.
This was no longer a safe place for my arrested emotions.
This was a battlefield where the game of divorce was being waged.
Never a great game player, I’m not good at hiding my truth.
But that word “liability” instantly dried up my tears.
I knew the relationship was over but seeing
that it was now about dollars and cents was shocking.
My lawyer was a genius at creating the perfect reframe for the situation.
This was a game, a game I never wanted to play.
What is the object of the game?
What are the rules?
How do I play?
Do I want to win or lose?
Damn it – I deserve to win. So I better learn how to play.
This is where I found great partners who fed me great hands.
I quickly learned to play my own hand.
I knew I was an asset and I deserved to win.
Deal em up….
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