There is no doubt about it. It shatters lives and ends the dream of “happily ever after”. The person you once loved and respected has now become an alien to you. The pain of separation and the disconnection from your spouse literally feels as if a limb has been cut off. The wounds so raw, are always exposed and irritated. But as time passes your broken soul discovers an opening. Once the dream has been mourned there is a beautiful invitation for re-invention. A time to assess where you are going and what you truly want your next act to look like. Your life is waiting for you. What do you want to create?
As a divorced Mother of three, I remember the early days flattened on my couch as if I had been run over by a truck. Every attempt to move or function took a herculean effort. The phrase or mantra that I embraced through out that time was “this is not my story!” I refused to allow myself to be a victim of my life circumstance.
At forty-five years old I had an opportunity to create a different life. Stripped of my title as wife, I no longer knew who I was. I don’t think I had ever asked myself, who am I? What do I love? What excites me? My focus had always been about taking care of others. Making sure that everyone else in my life was happy, and content. When I took the time to discover who I was at this point I unearthed a creative, interesting being. Someone I had seen glimpses of over the years but never took the time to really know. Well, now I had time, plenty of time. With the support of family and friends I kept distracted. Their presence was invaluable to me.
But at the end of the day I was alone — all by myself.
Once I stopped resisting this fact and allowed it to be, I discovered a real openness. I got curious about who I was and said YES to many new things. I discovered that I enjoyed my time alone. I liked who I was. I understood what my needs were and I would not accept anything less. Life opened up and surprised me with many gifts. I discovered new talents and embraced parts of myself that were waiting to be awakened.
I now view my divorce as a gift that set me free to be ME.
Certified Body Centred Life Coach